Spirit  of  the  Art ...

  ...through  Family  Constellation

Family Constellation allows us to see with new eyes and to examine our existence in a different way.  We see what we believe we think.  As all rivers flow into the sea, and the sea is never full, so we can let our thoughts flow into our hearts where there is always space left for love.  We get a fresh glance and a new entrance to the landscape of our souls.

Like dreams reflect our subconscious, family Constellation mirrors the unconscious aspects of our family systems.  Through it we release ourselves and those involved with us from an old point of view and are provided with the opportunity to find a new one.

We are links in a family chain and are bound to the fate of the family, and this forms part of our identity.  Through family Presentation we break away from our identification with that fate and make a fresh start.  There is a particular dynamic that rules the family system.  Should a family member or his fate be disrespected, denied, or forgotten,  someone else in his family (a descendant, a subsequent partner, or a child) will follow after him.  He need not have ever met this person, and he could even have already died.  Thus, children often identify themselves with their parents’ previous partners and adopt the feelings of those partners for their (the children’s) mother or father.  This is also the case with relatives in general, especially grandparents who suffered a hard fate.  The consequences of such an identification can range from psychological pressure and inexplicable behavior patterns resulting in relationship problems, illness, propensity for adiction, and suicidal tendencies.

 The subconscious “thinks” th at, by taking on the fate of those excluded from the family system, it honors them.  But in reality the opposite is the case.  If I recognize someone’s fate, however hard it might have been, only by leaving it to him do I honor him.  I should only take on the fate which is mine.

“If the family is brought to order in this way, each family member can escape[the family’s fate].  Then he can feel the power of the family as a support.  Only when the connection to the family is recognized, and the responsibility is clearly seen and divided, can each family member feel released and may follow his own special path, without the past burdening him and pulling him down.” --B. Hellinger

He who does not  respect both parents, regardless of their behavior, is not  whole.  The rejection of one parent results in the inability to accept oneself – simce everyone is his parents.  (Most addictions have their origin in this).  Only when these problems are solved can parents be accepted as parents.

Our identity is like our clothing.  We get rid of what doesn’t fit us anymore, and thus gain greater freedom.  But like peeling onions layer by layer, we come closer to the heart. We go forward with tears in our eyes,  to reach our parents,  the source of our life impulse and strength.  Harmony within the family is the rule of life.  It grants us trust, and we open ourselves for life completely.

A family over many generations is like a mobile:  a disturbance in one place causes a reaction in other places to restore the balance.  Children, by absorbing family disturbances, act to balance the system, thus making it seem as if order is restored.